As a parent with a child who has ADD, baseball can be extremely difficult and challenging to say the least. Some kids with ADD stand out like a sore thumb. They pick grass, they spin around, they kick dirt and at times they even sit down in the field. This is my son.
Is this dangerous? Yes. I am fully aware of the danger that my son may get hit by a ball.Does this frustrate his teammates and coaches? Yes. But, do I tell my child he can’t play? He wants to play; he enjoys being up at bat and even hits the ball and gets on base. The pride and excitement I feel when he hits the ball is so incredible but it vanishes moments later when he takes his glove off in right field to pick flowers.
It is so unbelievably stressful for me to watch this because I know what other parents and kids are thinking. What is wrong with that kid? It breaks my heart to see the looks and hear the comments from both kids and their parents. They somehow think that my child isn’t good enough or focused enough to be on the field. But as a parent if my child wants to try something, even if he’s not the best at it and even if he could possibly get hurt, I am going to give him the opportunity to try it.
I am asking parents that attend little league games or any team sports to be aware of the fact that some children do not have the attention span to stay focused when they are on the field, at bat or on the bench. These kids want to play baseball to have fun like the rest of the team and I think that is what little league is supposed to be about.
I pray that next year my son will not be interested in playing baseball, soccer of any other group sport for that matter, because its emotionally draining for me to watch. For now, I would just appreciate it if other parents would realize this is only little league and if you have a kid on your team that isn’t paying attention, chances are there is more to it than you realize.
What an incredible blog! This is truly a wakeup call. As I read this from a perspective of not having a child with ADD, I will say that I am so thankful that someone has written this so well, and without anger.
Witnessing children with less focus than most, or a child who doesn’t run as well, or who seems “off”, I know I will now take that extra minute to think about it before assuming he/she doesn’t care.
As a society, we have become less thoughtful, less cognizant of others around us, less sympathetic and certainly less empathetic.
I challenge myself and everyone else to really read this a second time and find a brighter attitude in your heart for both children and their parents.
Many thanks for this beautiful blog.
Well said and so true…
Heidi,
I love that you put out this blog! As a parent myself, struggling day to day with challenges of a 15 year old non-verbal son with autism I feel your emotions. Thank you for educating parents whom are blessed with children that do not have to deal with the day to day challenges of dealing with a child with disabilities. What we need to remember that although our children have disabilites. If parents take a look at the word “disabilities”, I see the word abilities and thats what we need to focus on. All of us have expectations for our children and kudos to you for raising the bar for your son to play little league. I know its draining but remember the swinging of a bat, kicking a ball, or shooting a basket gives you joy from your son then you have done your job as a parent. I feel we have the best blessings in the world because our children show the world they can and never I can’t!
I actually stumbled across this blog post because I was researching how to deal with a child that is demonstrating the obvious ADD symptoms as you described above. I’m coaching a summer league of 10-year old boys and one of my boys has been behaving exactly as you described. After a pitch or two of inactivity, he looses his focus and “drifts off”. I was looking to see if another coach may have experienced this as well and what methods he took to assist the child.
You certainly make your point by saying, “These kids want to play baseball to have fun like the rest of the team and I think that is what little league is supposed to be about.”
As a coach, I experience a wide range of parental attitudes that vary between “It’s only for fun” to “win some – lose some” to “Win at any cost”. It’s a juggling act to say the least. Each has their own distinct idea as to what Little League baseball is supposed to be about, and they are adamant with their convictions. Some parents could care less about wins and losses while others feel there children should never be a part of a team that loses a single game. There are others that just drop of the kids for two-to-three hours worth of baby-sitting.
Are any of those parents “wrong” with how they view how Little League is supposed to be? Are they “wrong” only because they do not conform to what you believe Little League is supposed to be about? Mind you, I’m not picking a side with either argument. I’m just presenting a view you may not have considered, nor may not want to consider. But as a coach – I must deal with it. The parents who believe that the season of baseball should be ultra-competitive and are rah-rah about winning may view a child who isn’t paying attention in the field as a liability on defense which may hamper their child’s opportunity to be victorious in a game (it is a TEAM sport after all). Wins and loses are both earned and accepted by the actions of the team as a whole unit.
Are you “wrong” for not seeing their way?
You are seeking full fledged tolerance for your point of view, while completely casting aside the point of view for those that view the games as being competitive.
I cannot, nor can anyone else, answer those rhetorical questions. However, there is one indisputable fact that remains…The children at age ten are beginning to throw and hit the ball harder. The danger element does exist – and I am happy to see that you acknowledge it. No one wants to see a child get injured. You’re pinning your hopes on your child not wanting to play baseball next season. That’s an easy way out – for sure. But come next spring when all the boys in school are talking about playing again, I’m certain that you’ll find yourself right back where you are. My point is, work with your child to allow him to pursue baseball if he likes it. Don’t discourage it because it is stressful for you. That’s just selfish on your part. Train him to be a catcher. This position is involved in EVERY play where there isn’t any time to “drift off”. It’s been working with the child I have for half the game…because the other half of the game we’re at bat.