June 26, 1999

My husband and I are celebrating our 13 year wedding anniversary tomorrow. Its a small amount of time compared to those married 20+, 30+ and 40+ years, yet in our little space in this world it seems like a long time. I can remember our first anniversary that didn’t go so well.

As a newly wed I had saved cake from our wedding and had plans to watch our wedding video and eat the cake together and have a toast. I never shared my plans for our special night and he flat out refused to eat year old cake or watch the video. ( I don’t blame him now) I was devastated, hurt and really angry that he didn’t want to do these things with me. I flew out of the house, jumped in my car with fury and sobbed to my girlfriend that our marriage was over. She talked me off my ledge and assured me that a marriage isn’t cake and videos, and maybe I needed to look at the situation differently. I am glad I did, because it would have been hard to make it this far.

Well I can say that I have learned a lot since that night about us as a couple and a few other things, so here they are:

To My Darling Husband,

To celebrate our anniversary I thought I would write you a letter and list my  13 top things I am thankful to you for  in the past 13 years of our marriage.

1. Never assume that you know what the other person likes. Who knew you liked to pick out your own pizza slice.? Now I know.
2. Using your husbands razor is a bad idea, you will always get caught, and wearing his sweatshirt.
3. You just need to listen, not solve the problem unless asked to do so.
4. Always kiss goodnight and a kiss before work. Even with my bad breath and crazy hairdo.
5. Be truthful about your feelings, and don’t hold resentments. They only breed anger.
6. Forgiveness. Thank you for not killing me for backing into your car-twice!!!, or breaking the new camera lens.
7. Humor. No matter what you make me laugh. Bad Humor is always good to me.
8. Your my own personal fitness coach. Thanks for all the support and encouragement as I try to loose weight and telling me there is just more of me to love.
9. Patience. You astound me with this.. thanks for having enough for me and the kids.
10. Thanks for always bringing me an ice coffee in the morning and leaving it in the fridge.
11. Thanks for not says the mean things I say to you to me.
12. Thanks for all the laundry you do and fold with out being asked.
13. Thanks for being a loving father, husband and son.

I know that I am leaving an awful lot out of this list but this hits the core so far.   I have learned that our wedding video isn’t all there is, and it was only a beautiful memory that set the foundation for the future Mr & Mrs. We have had many wonderful anniversaries, and its not about the date from one year to the next but the in-between that counts the most.