The Ultimate Toilet
I honestly dont know where to begin with this post, as this one tops the charts. Let me start with a little background on my mom. She is a multi-talented, fun, vivacious, courageous and amazing lady, who really embraces life and all that it offers. She just turned 70 and spends months at a time in Asia, India and Indonesia. She has the travel bug and has spent most of her life living on the edge. I think that is why I am such a straight and narrow person, I sort of balance out the equation.
It never fails that she comes back from one of her trips with a variety of interesting stories to share and also trinkets from her travels. This past trip, she had a stop in Japan and came back raving over the toilet that she used in the airport. She explained with delight that this toilet was a spa treatment in a bathroom stall. She swore that she was going to get one of these toilets that do pretty much everything except floss your teeth.
I laughed and told her that it was like flushing your money down the toilet. Low and behold, this past weekend I went up for a visit and my mom was giddy with anticipation of her surprise. I walk into her bathroom and there is her new toilet in all its glory. Of course she showed me how to use it, and it conveniently has a display panel mounted on the wall for ease of use.
The Control Panel
I really wasn’t sure I wanted to sit on the toilet, but it sure looked interesting. So I gave it a whirl. It has a heated seat, and when your business is done, it also can wash the front or back areas with warm water and you finish off the spa treatment with a blow-dry . Yes, they wouldn’t want you to walk away wet. I know its nuts.
So the next morning I wake to looking at my mom using this new toilet, happy as a clam, and I am hysterical because all I hear is the water and the fan; nothing like a fresh wash and blow dry in the morning.
Over the course of the weekend I too used this toilet and actually thought it was a great idea. Heated seats of any kind are pretty nice. However I would never personally invest in this toilet.
I head home and the next day and I have a urgency to use the bathroom in Market Basket, then again 10 minutes later, then 5 minutes and then every 2 minutes. What on earth was going on? I call my friend who says it sounds like a UTI. A What? I have NEVER had a UTI in my life. Damn that toilet!!!
I called the doctor and she asked the last time I had intercourse. Really why is that necessary?. As I was away for six days, that was not the problem. I had to explain to her about the magic toilet and she confirmed that was the cause of my plight. Needless to say, my husband said that’s what you get for using that silly toilet. So my mom has no issues and loves it, I will just need to stay away from spa toilets from now on, especially when I am in the Japan airport.